face so full of tears

I feel so empty

I feel so broken
I feel so lost

I feel my heart breaking,
shattering into pieces.

I feel my tears,
streaming down my face.
So cold, so alone and a face so full of tears.

I feel my mind,
getting all controlled.

I feel my skin,
all ready for me to
put the blade against my skin.

I feel my head-filled,
depressing thoughts
ready to kill myself and
the demons within me.

I feel all these unsettle explanations,
my heart just keep stirring with
this kind of mixed feelings.

I tell myself
when I hear your name
pretend I don't remember
when I see you
I don't feel a thing
when our eyes meet
pretend it doesn't hurt.

He say 'Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you.' But darling you see, that ain't happening to me.

I am so afraid to lose you.
I can't afford to lose anybody,
I have lost all of my friends from
all my self harming and depression.

Cause right now, I'm just wearing thin and I think I'm back to not knowing what to do.