5 January

There are so many beautiful, talented souls in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of your potential. -Demi Lovato 

On this rocky road to recovery, I've encountered so many people in my life who tell me that I can't do something.  Those people are just testing you and you can't let them bring you down. 

Recovery starts with R, but, so does Relapse. I used to struggle with recovery because I allowed the opinions of others to affect me so badly. My bipolar and anxiety disorders didn't help me at all, and I would always be watching others make conversation, and I'll be pinching myself, when others make a comment jokingly, I'll take it very seriously. I would constantly allow all negative comments made by others to control me and affect me.

There came a point of time, I was so afraid to even step out of my house because I didn't want to be judge. And I was afraid of others passing judgement about me. Sometimes, I allow those judgements to kill me mentally, and my emotions and feelings would start to build up quickly, and I just needed instant gratification. And wherever I go, I brought a blade with me. I would cut myself so badly, when my emotions and feelings got the worse out of me, and all the time, it seemed that all of these were beyond my control.

I started to lose friends drastically, others loathed me and I was being judged all the time because of the cuts on my arms. And things start to fell apart.

After all, I'm so thankful for all the friends who never lose faith in me. 

True friends will lift you up and believe in you. Don't allow anyone to tell you you can't live your dream because if you don't believe in yourself then nobody else will.

All the things that you have been holding back in your heart, let it go, and start doing it today. Be fearless.

Stay Strong.

6 January
Expose yourself to your deepest fear;
after that, fear has no power.
- Jim Morrison

When I was a kid, I had the biggest fear. I was afraid of knives and then I ended up self harming. In other words, I'm acting out my biggest fear. I hated cutting myself so much that I brought it upon myself. Make sure you aren't living out your fears, but releasing them. There is a purpose for every hardship or opportunity in your life.

Please know that I am always here for you if you need someone to talk to.

Stay Strong.

7 January
Accentuate The Positive
Eliminate The Negative
- Hayley Williams

When I was battling with all my disorders, I remember writing 'accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative' on my arms and not understanding it at first. When I decided to implement it in my life, a whole new world opened up for me. Inhaling the good vibes, self loathing thoughts to fighting the demons within me.

I've won this battle and on this rocky road to recovery, I have learn to love myself so much more, and accepted myself wholeheartedly as a person.

When you're positive about yourself and everything around you, you begin to see the world in a different light.

Stay Strong.

8 January

Love makes all things go round. There have been so many times in life when I felt lost and helpless, but when I come back to the love I have in my heart for my family and friends and for my own life, I feel peace.

Love is such a simple equation, with no complications. And that's why we take the people who love us for granted because they are always there for us, and we forget about them. We get so busy, sometimes we forgo simple things like spending weekends with our families and even just a simple gathering. I always forgo simple gathering and weekend with my families because we see each other almost every other day, now, I try spending quality time with my family and I make effort to write a letter, draw a picture, hug them and send ' I love you' on text messages.

I used to hate myself, until I loved someone. And it was the hardest thing to love someone and not love myself in return. I couldn't find a reason to love myself, not at all. I lost friends because they found it so hard to accept me and love me, and so they gave up. I started to love myself.

Let everyone you love know it. Bake them a cake, write them a letter, draw them a picture. Don't let them take your love for granted when you have so much to give.

I love you all. Stay Strong.

9 January
Mind over Matter

Don't waste your time with people who never appreciate and treasure you for everything you have to offer. And since I'm studying in an all girls school, I know girls who constantly change guys thinking they can change them or friends who don't have their best interests at heart, but it doesn't work that way. One of the keys to lasting relationship and friendships is mutual respect.

I'm being honest with all of you, I used to be so obsessed over this guy I had a crush on. And all the time, I had such high expectations of myself that I expected it from all my friends, and obviously him. And sometimes, I get all upset and frustrated because things wasn't going the way I had planned . I had a roller coaster of emotions and I was so uptight on the slightest issue, especially everything that was related to him. I'm such a difficult person, sometimes, even I myself can't understand how my friends tolerated me. I'm really blessed.

As time passes, I've come to realise that mutual respect is one of the most important keys to lasting relationships and friendships. Don't waste your time chasing anyone who has told you they don't want you around. Afterall, all of you deserve to be loved, and one day you will find the right key to his/her heart.

Stay Strong.

10 January
Don't invalidate your feelings.
Honor them.
- Demi Lovato

I used to run and hide from my feelings especially when I felt something that was painful, hurting, and triggering. And because I have learnt to love myself, I start to accept all of my feelings. I know my feelings are the hardest to overcome, however, in order for me to work through them, I must first honor and embrace all emotions. They are part of me.

Learn to honor and embrace your emotions, remind yourself how valuable they are.

Stay Strong.